« The stripy hole: Part IV | Main | Fun on a bun »

Why I am so fucking pissed off

At first I thought "What the fuck?!". Shit happens. Shit comes and goes. All things must pass, eh? So I let it go. I let it slide. Well no more. Ladies and gentlemen, *drumroll*, no more. For the first time, _______ __ __ adjusts his tie and says: I am so fucking pissed off!

Sep. 1989 - c.1991 ______, ______
I was bullied for being too fucking good looking, and too fucking smart. I was nicknamed "the professor". Was I angry? Hell yeah, I was pissed. Did I complain? Hell no. Instead, I struggled through three years of elementary school and I immigrated to ______.

c.1991 - 1996 ______, ______
I was bullied, and severely beaten for being a "dirty _______", from about age 11 to age 16 for being too fucking smart and quiet and god fucking knows what for, until I developed complexes of inadequacy, along with paranoia, irrational and rational fears, flanked by the misunderstanding of the the situation by my parents and my late brother _____. Did I fucking complain about six years in hell? Hell no. We moved to ______.

Jan. 1996 - c.1997 _________, ______
I was bullied and demoralized by stupid _________ in grade 9 to whom the words "culture" and "diversity" mean nothing. Stupid racist teachers. Did I fucking complain?

Sep. 1997 - Oct. 2000
I never completely fit in because of my demented attempts to seem "normal" and my experiences in ______ and ______. I lost friends and I appeared as a common asshole to the general public. I did strange things, like trying to be overly honest (almost expelled) and baring my bottled feelings (rejected again and again). Did I fucking complain?! I wrote prose and poetry and I grit my teeth.

Oct. 7, 2000
My brother committed suicide. I went off my fucking rocker and moved away from my parents.

c.2000 - 2001
I tried to balance my work, family, new relationship, therapy, antidepressants that don't work, insomnia and impending insanity.

Apr. 6, 2001
I was unjustly (charges and record dropped) arrested for alleged assault and kept in jail for one night, lost money (lawyer) and lost my job.

Now then, I am pissed off for two reasons:

  1. What the fuck did I do so this fucking fate would almost completely obliterate the sensitive, caring, and selfless _______ __ __ that I am trying to recover with such fucking great difficulty?!
  2. Why the fuck everyone around me is taking it easy, maxing and relaxing, sane, studious and employed?!

Fuck, I'm pissed off!

About

Previous Post
The stripy hole: Part IV

Next Post
Fun on a bun