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Why I am so fucking pissed off

At first I thought "What the fuck?!". Shit happens. Shit comes and goes. All things must pass, eh? So I let it go. I let it slide. Well no more. Ladies and gentlemen, *drumroll*, no more. For the first time, _______ __ __ adjusts his tie and says: I am so fucking pissed off!

Sep. 1989 - c.1991 ______, ______
I was bullied for being too fucking good looking, and too fucking smart. I was nicknamed "the professor". Was I angry? Hell yeah, I was pissed. Did I complain? Hell no. Instead, I struggled through three years of elementary school and I immigrated to ______.

c.1991 - 1996 ______, ______
I was bullied, and severely beaten for being a "dirty _______", from about age 11 to age 16 for being too fucking smart and quiet and god fucking knows what for, until I developed complexes of inadequacy, along with paranoia, irrational and rational fears, flanked by the misunderstanding of the the situation by my parents and my late brother _____. Did I fucking complain about six years in hell? Hell no. We moved to ______.

Jan. 1996 - c.1997 _________, ______
I was bullied and demoralized by stupid _________ in grade 9 to whom the words "culture" and "diversity" mean nothing. Stupid racist teachers. Did I fucking complain?

Sep. 1997 - Oct. 2000
I never completely fit in because of my demented attempts to seem "normal" and my experiences in ______ and ______. I lost friends and I appeared as a common asshole to the general public. I did strange things, like trying to be overly honest (almost expelled) and baring my bottled feelings (rejected again and again). Did I fucking complain?! I wrote prose and poetry and I grit my teeth.

Oct. 7, 2000
My brother committed suicide. I went off my fucking rocker and moved away from my parents.

c.2000 - 2001
I tried to balance my work, family, new relationship, therapy, antidepressants that don't work, insomnia and impending insanity.

Apr. 6, 2001
I was unjustly (charges and record dropped) arrested for alleged assault and kept in jail for one night, lost money (lawyer) and lost my job.

Now then, I am pissed off for two reasons:

  1. What the fuck did I do so this fucking fate would almost completely obliterate the sensitive, caring, and selfless _______ __ __ that I am trying to recover with such fucking great difficulty?!
  2. Why the fuck everyone around me is taking it easy, maxing and relaxing, sane, studious and employed?!

Fuck, I'm pissed off!


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